How To Boost Your Self Esteem and Love Yourself More

How To Boost Your Self Esteem and Love Yourself More

We spend a lot of time focusing on our relationships with other people, but we often neglect the relationship we have with ourselves. The way we view ourselves and our level of self-esteem affects all of our other relationships, as well as the way that we make our way through the world. If you have low self-esteem there are lots of things you can do to improve it and start loving yourself more:

• Make a list of your good traits. What things are you good at? What do you do well? What qualities do you have that your friends and partner like? Make a list of all of the good things about yourself, even if they are small. For example, you might make awesome pancakes and you might be a great listener. Write down anything you can think of. Keep your list and pull it out anytime you start feeling down on yourself.

• Revisit your past accomplishments. What things have you done in your life that you’re proud of? Think back to your childhood and of all of the things you’ve accomplished. Swimming badges, piano exams, honor roll, places you’ve travelled, etc. all count. You might think you haven’t accomplished anything, but when you think back and add it all up, you’ve probably done way more than you realize.

• Think of what you loved as a kid – and do it. What were your favorite things to play when you were a kid? Have you stopped doing them now that you’re older? Boost your self-esteem by re-visiting the things that you used to love. Take up art again or start playing softball again. The things we loved as a kid were things we did purely for fun, so stop focusing on what you should be doing and start doing something just because you want to.

• Spend time with fun people. If you’re trying to rebuild your self-esteem, surround yourself with people who are easy going and fun. Avoid people who are negative because they’ll only bring you down. Fun people will build you up, and hanging out with them will make you feel great and inspire you to continue to choose positive things in your life.

• Say something positive to yourself each day. Make it a habit, like brushing your teeth and look in the mirror and compliment yourself on something every day. It could be something as small as saying “Your outfit looks good today”. It will seem silly at first but you’ll get used to it and look forward to it. Compliments aren’t just for other people!

• Banish negative self-talk. We have so many negative thoughts throughout the day that we probably don’t even realize all of the nasty things we think about ourselves. Try to be more aware of your thoughts and stop yourself every time you start to beat yourself up in your mind.

• Set goals and reward yourself. One of the best ways to feel good about ourselves is to accomplish a goal. Set some goals for the short and long term and set out to achieve them. Have a reward in mind for when you reach them. For example, a short-term goal might be to get your resume finished and you could reward yourself with a new video game or a new accessory. An example of a long-term goal could be saving up to buy a car. You’ll feel great about accomplishing what you set out to do and you get a treat out of it to make you feel even better about yourself.

Overthinking Kills

photo cr:: weheartit

If you have a hard time turning off your mind or thinking too much about something that you shouldn’t really be thinking about, then you may be a victim of overthinking. 

Overthinking can cause you to be paranoid, because you start questioning someone’s motive or your own. It can cause you to rehearse past events and try to find meaning in them where none exists. It can cause you to become indecisive sometimes known as analysis paralysis. 

photo cr: weheartit

Regardless, over thinking is not a good thing especially for your mental well being. Overthinking can make you feel depressed, paranoid and anxious.

Here are some tips to help you overcome overthinking:

1. Recognizing when you are overthinking. If you find yourself thinking way too much, then you may already be overthinking. Overthinking also tends to occur more during night time when we let more of our mind wander.

2. When you recognize that you are overthinking, you can use healthy distractions. For instance, read a book, watch tv, talk to a friend, listen to music or exercise. 

3. If you still find yourself thinking about the problem, then you may need to directly confront the issue. Sometimes the issue is so severe to us that no distractions can help and the only way for us to stop thinking about it is to find peace with it. 

4. If you don’t want to directly confront the problem because of whatever reasons, you can also write the problem out in a journal or talk to a confidant about it. Sometimes all you need is a place to keep your thoughts somewhere so that it doesn’t stay on your mind. 

5. If nothing helps, you can always seek a professional such a counselor. You can talk to them about your problems and they can keep it a secret while at the same time help you think through your problems. 

Tips on How to Move Forward

1. Moving forward requires one step at a time. You don’t just one day suddenly feel alright at where you are and not get pulled/pushed back. It’s a gradual buildup of how you feel and the product of your hard work. So if you feel good one day, ask yourself what is it that makes you feel good and keep striving for the thing that makes you feel good. If compromises are necessary, do it anyways. Strategically weigh the prices you have to pay for the future that you desire vs the having to feel bad at this moment. 

2. Leave all baggages behind. If you are waiting for someone or hoping that someone would turn around, don’t. Put a closure to it. If you must intentionally destroy all chances you have with that person, do it and say everything you need to say ‘good or bad.’ Just don’t linger on any expectations. If something is meant to be, it will be. 

3. Always smile and have faith in your actions. Never question yourself and if what you do is right or not. Just believe in yourself and realize that you’re human. If you’re making mistakes towards your objective, don’t sweat it too much. The outcome will be the same regardless of how many mistakes you make as long as you are striving towards that ending you desire. 

4. If you’re lazy or your work habit is a mess, start putting effort into things. Get in touch with the feelings of discouragement, unsatisfactions, and guilt for not reaching your goals. They are your callings. Listen to them, and use them to be the driving force of your productivity. Only productivity can make you happy. 

5. Forget everything else. Put the less important stuff aside. Try to not procrastinate. Be conscious of your habits and slowly replace them with something else. For example, if you find yourself watching Anime instead of studying, while watching Anime, think about your work behind your head. Eventually all you’ll be thinking about is work.

6. Start slow. Don’t immediately throw everything aside, start small by working towards making greater and greater sacrifices. For example, don’t immediately decide that you are going to stop hanging out with friends, or stop watching Animes, instead, slowly remove one thing at a time. 

7. Should the day come when you finally succeed, then you can rest if you want to. At least, you’ve already lived your life to the fullest and will not have any more regrets. You’ll be eternally happy and carefree.